Could Love Be a Burden?
by Murasaki no hana
Summary: Kurosaki Ranmaru has been hurt by other women but could he find him self getting attracted to the composer of "STARISH". He's never really liked her in the first place, he gets to know her, but will this just be another burden in his life? Nanami Haruka doesnt realize that she is also falling in love and when she does will she get fired? After all love is forbidden in idol business
1. Chapter 1 I shouldn't involve myself

Chapter 1:

Nanami Haruka is practicing and composing new songs for "STARISH". She enjoys doing this while thinking about the guys. Writing one note after another she decides to take a break. She stood up from her piano and walked to the lounge.

She looked around the room to see if there is anything for her to drink. She then spotted a bag of coffee beans; she walked over and grabbed the bag of coffee beans.

"Maybe a cup of coffee will help me relax" she said to herself.

She poured the beans into the coffee maker, and stood by waiting for the coffee to be ready.

Just then Nanami heard a loud rattle noise of papers. Startled by the noise she looked outside into the hall.

"What was that?! I hope nothing bad happened." she said worriedly.

Nanami smelled a light scent of coffee.  
"Oh I forgot I was making coffee." said Nanami as she walked back over to the coffee maker.

The coffee was finished and steam was hovering over it. She grabbed her cup and took a seat.

"I wonder if everyone is enjoying their day off like me." Nanami thought to herself.

Nanami was drinking her cup of coffee and before she realized it she had finished it. She stood up and walked to the sink and started washing her cup.

She finished washing her cup and left the room to head back to the practice room. When she took a turn into a hallway she crashed into someone and fell on her bottom.

"Oww!" Nanami said quietly not trying to be loud.

"You should watch where you're going" said a deep voice trying to be somewhat polite.

Nanami opened her eyes to see a hand in front of her. Hesitating whether she should take the hand she did.

She stood up and noticed it was Ranmaru Kurosaki, the senpai of Ren and Masato. Realizing this she got nervous because he's always had a mean look. Nanami was trying to decide what she should say but he was walking away before she could say anything.

"Wait… umm" said Nanami without thinking.

Ranmaru stopped and turned around slowly, he stared at her for awhile and that made Nanami get even more nervous.

"Well is there something you want to say? I don't have time to stand around all day" Said Ranmaru with no emotion.

"Err…" Nanami was having trouble upon what she should say. So she just said the first thing that came to her mind"Would you like to listen to a new song I'm composing?"

"A new song? I'm sort of busy but I guess a couple of minutes couldn't hurt" Ranmaru replied trying to sound a bit annoyed.

Nanami turned to him surprised he accepted her request. She realized this and smiled very happily.

Ranmaru looked at her face and thought to himself "Heh what dumb face she has on." He thought half jokingly with a faint smile.

Nanami lead the way towards the practice room and Ranmaru was following behind her.  
They arrived and Nanami took a seat at the grand piano while Ranmaru took a seat near her.

Nanami mentally prepared herself and began to play the piano. She was playing this song with all the emotions she could give.

Ranmaru was staring at her in awe; He noticed Nanami was very different when it came to music. He was admiring this part of her.

Nanami finished playing her song and smiled with a relieved sigh. She then looked at Ranmaru for his opinion of her song.

"Um Kurosaki-san did you enjoy the song?" said Nanami a little nervously.

Ranmaru was still in a daze by the song, But then he quickly snapped back to reality and replied "Well I wouldn't Call it the best song but I can say it was very good so don't get ahead of yourself." He said with a taint of blush in his cheek trying to sound cool.

"I guess I'll be taking my leave" Said Ranmaru.  
He stood up and left the room.

Nanami was left alone in the room but she was happy Ranmaru complimented her song. "I hope I'll be able to become friends and get to know him better" Nanami thought to herself.

* * *

Ranmaru was walking back to his room thinking "Why was I in a daze, I must've looked so dumb and in front of a clueless girl like her…." But then he thought of how different she was when it came to music.

"Listening to a song composed by a girl isn't something I should involve myself." Ranmaru muttered to himself.

"Hmm did you receive a song from a cute girl Ran-ran?" said a familiar voice at the door.

Ranmaru quickly turned towards the door to see it was just his friend Reiji Kotobuki.

"Of course not, I-"before Ranmaru could finish Reiji interrupted.

"Or maybe you're just falling in love!" Reiji said teasingly.

"Hell no! As if I would ever fall in love with anyone!" said Kurosaki with just a tiny hint of blush in his cheeks.

Then Ranmaru thought to himself "Especially not with a clueless girl like her!"

"And here I thought my Ran-ran was finally experiencing love" replied Reiji with disappointment.

Ranmaru sighed. "Whatever and what were you going to do in my room?" said Ranmaru annoyed and irritated.

"Oh right, Shining Saotome wanted me to tell you that Nanami Haruka will be composing a song for you and Ai-ai, he wants you to release her song in your album. This is an order not a request" said Reiji happily.

Ranmaru sat there thinking to himself and sighed afterwards "Tch and I here I thought I wasn't supposed to be involved with her."

"Hmm ran-ran aren't you happy? I'm so jealous you can sing a song from such a cute girl. Her songs are amazing." said Reiji with excitement in his voice.

"If you don't mind can you leave I was doing some work here" Replied Ranmaru.

"Sure!" said Reiji as he left Ranmaru's room.

* * *

Nanami finally finished her practice and decided to go take a walk outside.

"I have to make sure I can create songs both Kurosaki-san and Mikaze-san will enjoy."Nanami thought to herself.

Nanami walked over to a bench and sat down.

"I never get tired of the scenery outside."Nanami said smiling to herself.

Nanami heard a small stick crack noise and realized someone was coming her way. She noticed it was Ranmaru.

"Um…. Good afternoon Kurosaki-san." said Nanami with a bright smile.

That made Ranmaru look into another direction; He decided to keep walking and not stop.

Nanami realized he was walking away.  
"Ah I have to talk with him about the song I'm composing for him." Nanami thought nervously to herself.

Nanami reached for Ranmaru but she missed and ended up tripping herself.

* * *

**Thank you for reading the first chapter!**

**And if you enjoyed it please review!**

**If there was something you think I should add or change please also review or pm me.**

**I really hope you enjoyed this chapter ouo**


	2. Chapter 2 What am i doing?

Chapter 2:  
"What am I doing?"

* * *

Nanami realized he was walking away.  
"Ah I have to talk with him about the song I'm composing for him." Nanami thought nervously to herself.

Nanami reached for Ranmaru but she missed and ended up tripping herself.

Ranmaru heard a thud behind him and turned around quickly.

"Oww" Nanami said.

Ranmaru quickly walked towards her and then offered her a hand.  
"Are you alright?" Ranmaru said sounding a little worried.

Nanami accepted the offer and stood up.  
"Ahh thank you, but don't worry I'm not hurt" Nanami said faking a smile.

Ranmaru looked at her and noticed her knee was scratched and bleeding.  
"Liar, I can see that your knee is bleeding."

"Oh, well its okay I can take care of it myself." said Nanami trying not to cause trouble.

"No I'll walk you the infirmary room." Ranmaru said worried.

"Are you sure? I didn't want to cause any trouble for you." said Nanami with a nervous face.

"Stop whining and just follow me" said Ranmaru sounding annoyed.  
"Even I can be considerate." Ranmaru said whispering.

"Did you say something Kurosaki-san?" Nanami asked curiously.

"Don't worry about." said Ranmaru starting to blush a little.

Time passed by and before they realized it they arrived at the infirmary room.

"Take a seat I'll find the supplies to disinfect It." said Ranmaru.  
He walked from cabinet to cabinet looking for the supplies.

Nanami took a seat and thought to herself. "For some reason I'm feeling self conscious."

Ranmaru found the supplies he needed and walked towards Nanami.  
He bent down near her and grabbed her leg.

Nanami immediately started blushing.  
Ranmaru noticed this and also started to blush a little.

He quickly wiped and sprayed her scratch. And then put a bandage on it.

"Okay it's done, and don't do anymore reckless things." Ranmaru said a little worried.

"Thank you very much Kurosaki-san." said Nanami with a bright smile.

"Idio-"before Ranmaru could finish he was interrupted.

"Hmm what's this, Is our senpai attacking my Little lamb." said a deep voice.

Both Nanami and Ranmaru turned towards the door to see it was Ren Jinguji and Masato Hijirikawa.

Ranmaru glared at Ren and got a little stiff.  
"Are you joking? Your composer tripped and I had to patch her up!" Said Ranmaru very annoyed.

"Is it true Little lamb? Ren asked curiously.

"Yeah I'm alright so don't worry about it anymore." Nanami said half smiling.

Ren walked towards her and put his arm on her shoulder.  
"Well Little lamb if you ever get hurt make sure to call me, I'll be sure to heal you up the best way possible." Said Ren while winking.

Ranmaru started to get irritated.

Masato grabbed Ren's arm away from Nanami and said "Enough playing around we need to head back to practice."

"But my Little lamb might get attacked by our senpai again." Ren said half jokingly.

"Whatever this is annoying I'm going back to my room." Ranmaru said irritated and annoyed.  
He walked out and headed to his room.

"Sorry Little lamb but I have to head back to practice." Said Ren while winking.  
Then Masato said "Excuse us Nanami."

And after they left Nanami was by herself in the infirmary room. She let out a sigh. "I guess now I should go visit Mikaze-san about his song I'm composing." She looks at her knee and remembers the warmth of Ranmaru's hand.

She stood up and headed towards Ai's she was walking she noticed Ren and Masato was practicing.

"Even they practice on their days off." Nanami smiled as she thought to herself.

Nanami arrived at Ai's door and knocked.  
"Mikaze-san are you there?" she said trying to be polite.

After awhile the door opened.

"Oh it's the composer of Starish; you can come in if you like." Ai said politely.

"Thank you." Nanami said as she walked into his room.

"Huh Nanami what are you doing here?" asked a familiar voice.

Nanami turned towards the voice to see it was Syo Kurusu.

"Obviously she came to visit us!" said a very happy voice.

Nanami turned again to see this time it was Natsuki.

"Um, I actually came because I had to talk with Mikaze-san." said Nanami nervously.

"With me? Could it be about the song you're composing for me?" said Ai.

Nanami looked surprise and then replied "How did you know? But yes it's about the song I'm composing."

"Oh if that's all I already know and you don't have to tell me." Said Ai.

"But… um well" Nanami was nervous. She didn't know how to put her sentence together.

"I was thinking we could hang out more." Nanami said with a smile, but then she realized what she said.  
"Oh no he probably thinks I'm asking him out" she thought very nervous and worriedly.

"According to my data it seems you are asking me out on a date. Is that right?" Ai questioned.

Nanami got even more nervous and she was starting to stutter.  
"N-no I just w-wanted us to talk to each other m-more." said Nanami.  
"Because when I write this song I want to think about you." she added

"Is that even necessary? I'm sure you can write a song thinking about anything and just give it to me."  
Said Ai a little bit annoyed.

Nanami looked at Ai and wasn't sure what to say back.

"Hey what are you saying to Nanami she didn't say anything rude to you!" Syo said with anger.

"No its okay Syo. Mikaze-san I think a song holds emotions by someone who sings it, and I don't think they'll be released unless that song is sung by the one made for it." Nanami said with a light smile.

"Emotions? That's something I don't have." Ai said seriously.

Nanami looked surprised at Ai."Could he be joking?" she thought to herself. She wasn't sure what she should say.

"I'm not sure what you mean but I would still like to spend more time with you." Nanami said nervously.

Ai looked at her and then sighed."Okay fine but not today. And can you please leave."

"Um, Thank you very much" Nanami said as she bowed.  
After she bowed she left the room.

"Well since that's taken care of I should go back to my room, it's getting pretty late." Nanami thought to herself.

* * *

Ranmaru slammed his fist onto the table. "What am I doing?" He said as he sighed to himself.

He remembered seeing Nanami going into Ai's room. "What's wrong with me!?" he said.  
Ranmaru just rubbed his head worriedly.

"I can't do this not after what I've already been through!" said Ranmaru.

Ranmaru started to remember his past.

* * *

He remembered when he had a band and a girlfriend. The band was doing great, everything was perfect, friendly, and had nonstop fun at practice. But soon the band started spreading rumors about each other and could no longer trust each other.

Fights kept occurring and soon the band just decided to break up. Ranmaru was the one most upset because this was something he loved from the bottom of his heart and he watched it disappear from his very eyes. He didn't understand how the rumors even started, he soon found out it was by his girlfriend. He also loved his girlfriend very much and he couldn't bear to lose her, and again he lost something very important to him.

Ranmaru took awhile to realize this and had a hard time to get through this. After some time he could naturally talk with others and mess around with them but he'll never forget what happened in the past. And he tries his very best to avoid this happening ever again.

He finished remembering his past.

"But why do I feel like this?" Ranmaru thought to himself.

* * *

**Thank you for those who read, followed, and favorite this I'm really happy ouo.**

I'm really sorry ._. I actually updated 2 days late and again I'm very sorry =~=

I'll try updating every week on Sundays.  
Sorry about my grammar and misspellings -;

If you think I should change/add anything else please comment ^^  



	3. Chapter 3 Why do you keep following her?

Chapter 3:  
"Then why do you keep following her?"

* * *

Nanami wakes up from her slumber and feeling sleepy.  
She turned towards the clock to see it was 6:30 am.

"Wow I woke up pretty early." She said to herself while rubbing her eyes.

She was debating whether she should get up or go back to sleep.  
Then she giggled towards herself. "I should get up or else I'll be too tired to wake up again."

She got up and got out of bed and started changing into her casual clothes. A red blouse witha white collar and white polka dots, white caprice, and red flats. For accessories she put on a white beaded bracelet and a sliver watch on her right wrist.

Nanami walked out of her room and decided to go to the practice room because she wasn't really hungry.

She sat down at the piano in the room and was thinking of what kind of melody to write down.  
"What kind of melody can suit Kurosaki-san?" She asked herself.  
And then suddenly a short melody came to her mind. "I better right this down before I forget." She said to herself.

Nanami was in a pleasant aura humming and writing down notes after notes and playing them on the piano.

* * *

Ranmaru was sitting in the lounge room bored and not sure what to do.  
"Why couldn't I sleep well last night?" He questioned himself.

He decided to take a walk around the building since he had nothing better to do.  
He yawned as he was walking. "I guess I'm tired since I didn't get much sleep." He said to himself.

As he was walking down a hall he noticed someone was playing the piano.  
"That melody doesn't sound half bad."He said walking towards the music.

He was about to walk into the room but noticed it would have been rude to just interrupt. So he decided to just lay his back against the wall right beside the door. He closed his eyes as he peacefully listened to the melody.

And before he knew it he also started humming. Suddenly the sound of the melody stopped and he heard light footsteps heading towards the door.

Ranmaru started panicking a little but just stood there not sure what to do.

"Kurosaki-san that was you? I really love your voice" Nanami said with a calm smile.

Ranmaru got surprised and jumped back a little. He started rubbing the back of his neck.  
"Idiot what are you talking about I was only humming." He said replying to Nanami.

"Ah then if you don't mind would you add lyrics to the melody I was just playing?" Nanami asked a little nervously.

"Why should I? I have better things to do." Said Ranmaru a little annoyingly.  
He started to slowly walk down the hall again.

Nanami looked sadly towards the floor. "I understand." She said politely.

Ranmaru turned around looking at Nanami. "I should just leave her there." He thought to himself.  
"But… I can't help but get a feeling I'll regret this if I do leave her there." He thought to himself again.

Ranmaru turned around and headed towards Nanami.  
"On second thought I don't mind wasting some of my time doing this."He said to Nanami a little apologetic.

After Nanami heard those words she suddenly brightened up and smiled.  
"Thank you so much!" She said happily as she bowed.

Ranmaru smiled gently without him realizing and then said "Stupid you don't need to bow."

"Um okay!." Nanami said nervously happy.

Nanami walked over to the piano and sat down. She looked around to see if there were any other chairs so Ranmaru could sit down.  
"Um Kurosaki-san if you don't mind you can sit beside me." Nanami said politely without knowing what she just said.

Then Ranmaru immediately started to blush, averting his eyes he replied. "Do you even know what you're saying? Stupid I'll just stand beside you."

Nanami replied with a nod. "Okay."

And so Nanami began to play the piano, Ranmaru was listening falling into a daydream and naturally coming up with lyrics.  
Soon Ranmaru got tired of standing and wanted to sit down but he was worried he would be a bit too close to Nanami and invade her personal space.

He kept hesitating and decided to sit down, he immediately got stiff . After he did Nanami turned towards him, Ranmaru noticed she was blushing a little but she had a bright smile and she kept playing the piano. They both were connected at that moment, through music and were in a very pleasant aura.

Nanami stopped playing at some point so she could take a break; she checked her watch to see the time was 7:45am and gasped.  
"Oh no I'm going to be late the meeting starts at 8:00am!" She quickly gathered her stuff and started heading towards the door but before she did she turned around and said "Thank you very much Kurosaki-san! I had a lot of fun, let's do this again another time."

Ranmaru waved as she left. "Why do I keep involving myself?" He said to himself as he sighed.  
Then suddenly someone walked into the room.

"I think you're in love with that girl! Ah that atmosphere I just saw was so lovey dovey!" Teased a familiar voice.

Ranmaru noticed it was Reiji. "Shut up, why would I ever fall in love with a girl like her." Ranmaru spoke seriously.

Reiji's expression changed to a more serious look. "Then why do you keep following her? If you don't want _**that**_ to happen again I'm sure you know what to do." Said Reiji.

Ranmaru sat down and put his hands on his face."I know but I… don't understand why I keep following her" he said desperately.

"I'm sure you'll find a decision soon and I'll support you throughout the way." Said Reiji a little confidently.

Ranmaru sighed and then replied. "I'm not sure what's going to happen anymore but I'll try to avoid from _**that**_ happening again."

"Right now you're most likely on a rocky path but I'm sure it'll smooth out" Reiji said trying to cheer up Ranmaru a little.

Ranmaru just sat there silently with his hands still on his face.

Reiji decided to leave him there and let him have time to think for himself, and he left the room.

Ranmaru sat there making no movements or sounds.

* * *

Nanami arrived at the meeting but realized no one was there.  
"Um excuse me is there anyone here?" she said politely.

"Oh you must be the composer of Starish, Nanami Haruka right?" Said a feminine voice.

"Yes I'm here for a meeting but no one seems to be here." Said Nanami questioning the woman.

"Well it seems Shining Saotome is out and the meeting was cancelled." Replied the woman.

"Oh I understand, and thank you." Said Nanami as she bowed.

Nanami walked out of the building and headed back to the dorms.

She walked inside the building and started going up the stairs. "I'm kind of tired." She said half yawning.

Then suddenly she crashed into someone causing her to fall back. Nanami closed her eyes scared that she was going to hit the stairs and the floor.

"Huh? How come I haven't felt any pain yet?" Nanami thought to herself.  
She slowly opened her eyes to see another pair of aqua green eyes.

Nanami quickly pushed Ai away from her and she started blushing.

"Hmm? That's kind of rude for someone who just saved you from getting injured." Said Ai.

Nanami realized what she did and nervously bowed. "I'm very sorry, I was careless and bumped into you."

"It's okay but watch out where you're going, at this rate it'll be like Friday the 13th for you." Said Ai.

Nanami grew pale "I-I Understand." And then she cautiously walked off.

Ai sighed "Don't take it seriously Haruka-chan!" said Ai making sure she heard it.

Nanami heard him but still cautiously walked down the hallway. She walked into the lounge room and took a seat.

"Today's day was some day huh?" Nanami said to herself.

She laid down on the couch thinking about what happened today. And before she realized it she dozed off and started sleeping.

* * *

Ai was walking down the hallway heading towards the lounge room.  
"Ahh I'm thirsty." He said.

He walked into the room and noticed Nanami was asleep on a couch.  
"She's so reckless and vulnerable." Said Ai while sighing.

Ai looked around the room and inside the cabinets to see if there were any blankets. He found one and decided to cover Nanami with it. And then he sat in another seat near her so he could keep watch over her.

"Ai what are you doing?" Asked a deep voice.

Ai turned towards the door to see it was Ranmaru.  
"It shouldn't concern you now should it?"Replied Ai coldly.

"Pretty cold words from a robot." Said Ranmaru. "Get away from her, she doesn't need a brat like you to watch over her."

"Same to you." Replied Ai.

"Why you little-"Before Ranmaru could finish Nanami woke up.  
She sat up and rubbed her eyes half asleep.

Both Ai and Ranmaru couldn't help but blush over the fact that she looks cute.

"Huh? What is Ai and Ranmaru doing here?" Nanami questioned both of them.

* * *

**(If you don't know what they meant when they said "that", it means they were talking about Ranmaru's first girlfriend who broke up with him. (Stated in Chapter 2)**

**Thank you to those who read, followed, and favorite this I'm really happy ouo!~  
See I promised you I would update today ^^**

**Sorry if I had any grammar or misspellings -;**

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